At the Crossroads

Taking what we need; Giving what we can

With the coming of coronavirus we are being faced with a number of challenges. The first response of The Abhayaratna Trust has been to alleviate some of the suffering of Order members who are without sufficient financial support due to having suddenly lost their income. But we have been aware that as well as the financial challenges, some members of our Community are struggling with mental states of anxiety or depression during the current lockdown. With high levels of uncertainty about the future, it’s easy to be caught up with mental activity. We can be drawn into a vortex of thoughts about what might happen, what might not happen.

As practitioners we are bound to encounter terrain that is difficult to navigate. In one of the talks that Prakasha gave at the Order Convention in August last year he quoted Carl Jung; “to become enlightened we need to make the darkness conscious.” The light is in the darkness, he said. If we are able to turn towards the underlying fear that is causing our anxiety, if we are able to be with it and see it for what it is, then we will have transformed it.  

But how do we actually begin to approach this. In order to respond appropriately to what is happening firstly it’s important to distinguish what is felt experience and what is mental activity and proliferation. This needs to come more into balance to keep our situation in perspective.

Then perhaps, as Paramananda has suggested in his book The Myth of Meditation, we might need to make a descent to the underworld. One way of doing this is to look to our somatic/felt experience, the breathing body. In my experience, this way of journeying into the underworld can lead to a crossroads, a place of uncertainty, where we are faced with our hopes and fears – and we don’t know which way to go. This can be a turning point in experience. 

Standing at our crossroads, we can realise that it is not then a matter of which way we should go, but how to be more fully where we are. Being with the uncertainty of the future, letting go of our assumptions and views and so abandoning our hopes and fears – those responses rooted in the ignorance of our illusion of separateness, futile attempts to manipulate and appropriate experience that only serve to underpin the ego. 

One thing we might do at such a time is to call on help, invoke what lies beyond the limited sense we have of ourselves, turn towards our longing for authenticity. This longing, or love, invokes a willingness to move beyond the self-perpetuating ring of fear that binds us. This goes right to the heart of our practice and can challenge the depth of our confidence in Dharma. 

Responding to others

There have been many heartening responses from sangha members to the pandemic; including responses from individual Order members such as  Kamalashila’s online retreats for Order members and Tejananda’s zoom workshops on the Dynamic Mandala, available on Youtube. A number of other Order members are offering led or shared practices on Facebook, WhatsApp and other online platforms, including yoga, meditation, singing…

It’s a time of giving what we can, whether it’s money to help those who are struggling, or our time and attention, being patient in listening to people who are experiencing anxiety. Or perhaps simply giving confidence; being around those who can remain calm and grounded can have a very direct effect on others. And it could also be invaluable to share what insight you might have from standing at your crossroads at this difficult time. 

Jinavamsa